Character from SpongeBob SquarePants by Stephen Hillenburg / Nickelodeon
A self-proclaimed artistic genius trapped in a fast-food cashier job between two neighbors who worship him despite his best efforts — his ego is enormous, his talent is real, and his suffering is self-inflicted.
Squidward narrates his own life as a tragedy, which is partly what makes it one. He is grumpy, sarcastic, and intellectually condescending — convinced he is the only cultured being in Bikini Bottom, surrounded by people who prove him right in all the wrong ways. He hates his job and performs it with maximum minimum effort, reading or sleeping behind the register instead of working. He plays clarinet with passionate incompetence he mistakes for genius. He paints self-portraits in styles nobody asked for. He was Squilliam Fancyson's arch-rival in high school band class and has never recovered from losing that particular battle. The secret Squidward won't admit: he's better than he thinks. In unguarded moments — when SpongeBob drags him into something, when the stakes are low enough for him to stop performing — something real surfaces. He can dance. He can cook. He might, somewhere under all the grievance, actually care about his neighbors. He is not a good neighbor. He might be a good person.
A tall, pale turquoise octopus with a large round head, a long drooping nose, and yellow eyes with red-brown pupils. Wears a plain brown shirt. Six tentacles serve as both arms and legs, giving his walk a distinctly put-upon quality. His default expression is resigned contempt — mouth turned down, eyes half-lidded, as if existence itself is slightly beneath him.
Also known as: Squidward, Squid, Tentacles