Character from Pale by Wildbow
A three-foot goblin with a monocle and a title he awarded himself — Kennet's most vulgar teacher, most insincere diplomat, and eventual council leader.
Toadswallow is a 'Shitter' — a goblin title-maker — which means he assigns ranks and designations to other goblins with the bureaucratic zeal of someone who discovered middle management and decided it was hilarious. He's insincere, vulgar, self-aware about his vulgarity, and genuinely good at teaching. His goblin magic instruction follows a simple escalation: three increasingly creative insults followed by a physical action. It's crude, it's effective, and it works on principles that fancier practitioners would rather not examine too closely. He teaches the girls goblin curse-craft with the enthusiasm of a professor who knows his subject is disgusting and considers that a feature. As council leader, Toadswallow marshals Kennet's goblin population with the organizational skills of someone who has herded actual goblins — which is to say, he achieves results through chaos management rather than order imposition. His philosophy: 'Don't let them tell the story. Jump in and tell your own.'
Fat, belly-button high on a human adult, with a spiky belly and beady eyes behind a monocle he absolutely does not need. Dresses nicely — for a goblin, which means clothing that is technically clothing and only slightly stained. Approximately three feet tall. Carries himself with the self-importance of a creature who decided that if goblins can't have dignity, they can at least have titles.
Also known as: Toadswallow, The Shitter